Birthing MindofaMama

It’s 2 a.m.

What better time to finally introduce myself?

Let’s start with the basics:
My name is Janessa, but I go by Jane.
I’m 30 years old, a full-time working mama with a life partner and four chaotically beautiful children. I’ve given birth five times and have danced with PPA and PPD through a few of those journeys.
(If you know, you know.)

I actually created this blog nearly 10 years ago.
But like many dreams, it sat in the background—quiet, waiting—while I battled self-doubt and insecurity. So, be kind. I’m showing up now. And honestly, that’s enough.

When I’m not working, I’m in tow with my kids. Always.
This life is a whirlwind, but it’s mine.
I don’t know where this blog will lead, but I hope it brings connection. I hope it reminds someone out there that what’s going on over here is probably happening over there, too. That we’re not alone.

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I love it here.
And by here, I mean motherhood.

Some days I have to literally remind myself—I created these humans.
I chose this. I choose this. Every single day. To be present. To be intentional. To try my best, even when my best feels threadbare.

And yes, very seldom do I feel a tiny pang of envy toward the mamas sitting alone in prison.
Key word: alone.
Don’t judge—prison has, at times, sounded like a destination vacation.
If you say that thought hasn’t ever crossed your mind on a hard day… well, your mama raised a liar.

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Today is Mother’s Day.

No big plans—I'll be working most of the day. Maybe a good BBQ in the evening, some family over.
Nate (my partner) asked me what I wanted… what I wanted to do.
I didn’t really know how to answer. I don’t usually want anything. Just… appreciation.

I hate how commercialized holidays have become.
So fast-paced. So retail-driven. No intimacy, no deep meaning anymore.
(Or maybe I’m a little bit of a holiday grinch, which can also be true.)

Luckily, Nate’s never really had an issue showing gratitude.
Maybe it’s because that man knows exactly what I deal with, with him and our children day in and day out and maybe because his love language is gift-giving and he lives for my reaction. He tries.  And I see him for that.

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Just know, today I watched my almost-two-year-old look me dead in the eye through the rearview mirror from the third row… and launch his Jack in the Box popcorn chicken directly at the back of my head.
Mid-drive.
While I begged him to stop.

This life is bliss, I tell ya. 😂

To all the mamas reading this—
Happy Mother's Day.

You are seen.
You are loved.
You are so, deeply appreciated.

Now… can you guess who’s at Mama’s side every chance they get?

xx, MamaJane